Amy & Aron's

In relationships, what is the biggest disagreement? Did you know that if you look up the top 10 reasons for failed marriages, the top answer is money? Money matters, lack of communication about finances, lying about or hiding financial gain/loss, and so much more. I can share from personal experience from my husband and myself because we have both been guilty of it, it's so much better, to be honest upfront instead of later. It's in everyone's best interest to come clean if you have been caught.

I will share an example with you so you can see what I mean.

Aron and I decided it was time to stop helping a family member of ours. This decision was based on the fact that this family member was fully able to care for themselves. At the same age as us at the time (early 30s) it's time to do it on their own. So, me and my soft heart decided a little more help wouldn't hurt, I mean really, it's family. So I arranged for this family member to meet me at work instead of coming to the house. It was better that way, Aron wouldn't be having to wonder why a suspicious visit was going on if said family member was leaving empty-handed.

That never happened. There were no visits just to stop by and say hi. So to save the drama, we met at work and I didn't mention our decision to financially stop helping, I didn't want to cause any hurt feelings. When it came time to meet up and there was a no show, I went home saying I got stuck at work awhile longer, a tiny fib but, it didn't hurt anything. So the next morning my loving family member called to let me know they would be at my work today instead of yesterday with a thank you so much for helping. Well, I was already at work and Aron took the message. That did not blow over well AT ALL. Not only was there dishonesty between us because of the finances there was the betrayal because I went behind his back.

He explained that if I wanted to help and just HAD to do it we could have reassessed our decision to come up with something better like still being able to help just not as often or helping our family member find a job, offer a ride to the employment office, or even have them mow the grass, watch the kids, or something to have it be an earned money not a borrowed to never be repaid, money.

I thought he was just dead set against it because it was technically my family and the maturity and accountability weren't there. He made several good points as to why we shouldn't help that I did and still do agree with but growing up I was always taught to help family. So it was a moral issue for me and a lot of inner conflict on my side of the discussion.

After a long night of the silent treatment and years of hesitant belief when it came to me and any financial trust, I think we're over it.

The moral of the story, it might not seem like a big deal but financial honesty is very important. Financial dishonesty is NEVER only financial dishonesty. If there is a reason for hiding the finances, there are other lies that are attached to it that are not worth the mental capacity, I promise!

Little lies that add up-

• I was running behind and had to stay at work late.
• I have to stop at the store, I have to leave early.
• My check was shorted by a few hours.
• I forgot to clock in one day.
• Tips were horrible today.

Being honest is so much better for you and your relationship.

It definitely put a strain on our relationship but moving forward, I have been honest about what I am doing and he is being more understanding, by both of us being all in, it has made it so much easier. Neither of us has to assume what the other is going to say or do, that's so much better!


Our friends over at Money Savvy sent us  O.M.G. Official Money Guide for Couples. This is awesome! I wish I had this year's ago when we first married. It's still super helpful now and we will definitely be putting it to good use.

You might remember Money Savvy from their Money Savvy Pig I featured a few years back. It has sections for Save, Spend, Donate, Invest. It's perfect for kids and young adults to get the hang of money and prioritizing. It comes with a sheet of stickers so it can be personalized for what they want to do and the goals they are trying to achieve.

They have awesome products for all ages to get started on being familiar with money.

The O.M.G. Official Money Guide for Couples is available for 3 different scenarios including teens, college students, and couples. If you know anyone needing some advice, this is a great starting point.

What to expect

In the book, it's broken down into easy to read, understand, and follow chapters.

Creating a Plan Together
Managing Money
Tracking Expenses
Give Eachother Credit
Debt
Investing
Cost of Homeownership
Insurance
Protecting Your Joint Identity
Activities
Index
Resources

I love this guide. It's so realistic and relatable. Money conversations are hard and to agree on everything right away isn't always easy. It's nice to have the reassuring connection that we aren't the only ones that fall into this situation.

I love it that this guide openly discussed debt. It happens, be honest about it. It's better to handle this situation sooner than later. Talk about it and know that debt doesn't have to be embarrassing, just handle it and get in with your lives.

Aron and I hit a few bumps in the road when it came to our credit and student loans. When that is all taken care of, we are hoping to purchase a house together. That will be by far the biggest but beat feeling debt EVER!

If you are looking for some great tips and support, check out the O.M.G. Official Money Guide for Couples from Money Savvy.

Check out Money Savvy on their website for their most up to date products and info.