Experiencing cancer is sadly all too common, and the statistical likelihood is that we will be called upon to help at least one of our loved ones or relatives through this challenge at some point in our lives. When someone you care about deeply receives a diagnosis, you face trying to process your own emotional response while simultaneously wanting to provide the emotional and practical support they need. However, sometimes knowing what the right thing to do and say is can be difficult. So how do we give the best support to someone living with cancer?
Just Learn To Listen
It's natural to want to seek out information when someone you care about receives a cancer diagnosis. There is so much out there to learn, from holistic therapies to help chemotherapy recovery to proton treatment for prostate cancer. But now is not the time to overwhelm your loved one with new ideas. The best support you can give in the immediate aftermath of diagnosis is to really listen. This can do so much more good than trying to fill every silence with suggestions, comments and ideas. When something as overwhelming as this occurs, there will be a range of emotions for your relative to negotiate their way through.. Support is often as simple as a listening ear or a hug - don’t try and overcomplicate things.
Support Their Treatment Plan
Your loved one and their doctors may decide on certain actions as part of a treatment plan that you don’t necessarily agree with, or you may have heard about different things that you think might work. If they come to you and ask for advice or an opinion, that is one thing, but never force your opinions. Only your loved one and their specialists can decide on the correct plan, ultimately.
Look After The Caregivers
Cancer treatment doesn’t just affect the patient - their other family members and in particular anyone with caring responsibilities will also be in need of support. Someone will be taking on a much bigger share of household duties, taking your loved one to their appointments and doing the physical aspect of caring, and if that isn’t you then consider if you can spare some additional support to help them out - whether that be making easy freeze-ahead meals or considering doing something like paying for a cleaner to help out with keeping on top of the housework. If it's an elder person in a care home, it helps to have good communication with the staff as well.
Keep Things As Normal As Possible
Living with cancer can make it feel as if the world has turned upside down, and all your familiar routines and comforts are upended. For that reason, trying to keep things as normal as possible for your loved one is often important. If there are little rituals which are important to them, such as keeping their nails painted or going to a particular coffee shop at the weekend, support them to keep those up. Making a point of staying in regular contact and talking about ‘normal’ topics as well as how their treatment is progressing is also key in giving them the strength they need for the battle ahead.
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