Words can not express my feelings towards this whole situation. There are not words that to express my pure gratitude and appreciation for the gift we are about to receive. A tiny precious little baby to love and nurture.
There are so many feelings involved with this. I knew there was going to be excited and happy but the worry and wonder and so many more.
I know it is so greedy of me but I worry that her biological parents will decide to parent her. I know they are in agreement now but, what if they change their mind. We would have to accept that and know that we tried. We would be sad and heart broken.
Honestly, about 1 1/2 years ago we decided that we were finished searching and we would just deal with it. Making that choice was a hard one. We were so heart broken at the time, it was pretty much the only way to get through those feelings - shut it down.
Then out of no where, Aron came to me with a reoccurring dream. He had the same dream 3 times before he told me about it. It was on his birthday.
"Honey, she called me DaDa. She has green eyes and dark hair. She was so small and in my dream, she couldn't be more than 2."
We knew of a couple that were in a certain situation and they were the first ones to come into my mind... Aron's too. But, the only difference was, we thought they were having a baby boy.
We sat and cried together. It's amazing how one statement can drag up all of those feelings without even talking about it. We knew what we promised each other. We knew what it would do to us to go through the expectation and potentially the let down.
After a few days, we found out that they had already talked about us. Was it the nights Aron was having those dreams? Was it the nights she called him DaDa? Was it the night we sat and cried and knew that we would love her so much and raise her with unconditional love and didn't even know she existed?
I don't think we will ever know the answers to those questions but, we do know one thing already.
Maddy Maye Lynn, We love you already.
Hoe beautiful and congrats on the new baby. Adoption is so wonderful. And Maddy is one lucky little girl to have you for her mother.
ReplyDeleteAw, Congratulations on your little baby girl Maddy, such a nice story to read :)
ReplyDeleteBeautiful! What a great love story!
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